Despair is all I know
by Silver Lightvier
Summary: Junko's story of her life before Kibougamine Academy and how she felt despair. There will be some change in POV so please no attacking ;u;
1. Prologue

**Prolougue:**

Author's Note: Sorry I died from writing! Well you know how I said I'll write a more happier fic...well I lied sorry. (Will get around to do so.) ENJOY THE DESPAIR!

Why does every moment have to be so...disgusting?

Back at a time when hope was everywhere I used to have that same hope even though despair was all around me from the moment I was born. Both me and my twin sister, Mukuro Enoshima, both were born with a similar future though their is a difference. I continued on even after death, she died a despairingly stupid death and it sickens me. Though it did serve as an example. This is the story about me! And only me after all!

Let me explain the current issue now before enveloping about myself. I am writing this because I feel like these few students will find me out and I feel like death's despair is coming. I cannot wait for it, though sadly I cannot share this despair maybe my followers of despair will. After all I didn't name them Super Highschool Level Despair for nothing. Though how would they react when their queen bee has gone and died. I hope they despair to their heart's content dahahaha! Though I will miss them all I kinda wished I could understand them more... Since these motherfucking students are so smart I gotta write a report of why I despair! Why? Cause to spread my despair to the world! Let me see how it started, based of my analysis it was a time I actually believed in that word of 'Hope' when I was born with my bigger sister and how our parents are dead to us, literally now...

(Like I said Prologue and super duper short hope you like! I promise it will get better ;u;)


	2. The Birth of Despair

My story of despair started being the second child brought to the world. As being born itself wasn't despairing enought, the sights and sounds of annoying attentive doctors who have shit for brains were already giving me headaches and ticked me off. Though it wasn't only thing that pissed me off, the fact I have that stupid older sister that always is loud but what is worse is that I never even got to meet my mother, after I got out barely alive I cried tears of despair seeing my dead mother's body. The kind of despair that sticks into your memory never to go away. That's when my pathetic hope started to wilt into a beautiful despair flower. Our, me and Murkuro's, father took us in and cared for us for only a short while. Long enough to grow into toddlers then to small children, but when we moved to America our father was meeting some rather strange men and heard a small deal. Our family was already broke as hospital bills were impossible to pay for and it'll be my fault since we still haven't held a funeral for dear mother either. It doesn't help that my Father had shit for brains and he believed the fuckers. In the process, he tried to use us for his own personal gain trying to get money from us by those men who would love to have children labor almost like we were slaves. It was cheap labor after all so the deal went without a hitch. Several times, those men beaten or done unspeakable things to me and my sister. Much to their desires but my father only care for the money and felt a bit bad for Murkuro not at all I.

Things were working so wonderfully. So perfectly. Though soon being the youngest and the mistake of the family, at the age of six now, I was starting to complain and whine then soon started to make sure to purposely mess up my tasks. Several times my father beaten me to do what he wanted to do what the men wanted so he could get money. Though I refuse after all freedom of speech right? Oh wait that's in America right? I don't remember Japan's laws anymore since I lived in America for most of my life the only connection I had to Japan until I was fifteen was my name, Junko Enoshima.

Though even as my father got more and more tired of me he started to threaten a few times making me very scared giving a small...hope...that I would be okay the next day. Soon as things couldn't get any more worse, the men then quit paying my father and quit the deal, instantly me and my sister were blamed. After the deal went south, my sister then started to blame me that she was being dragged down to my level as normally she was treated the nicest until the deal was gone. Soon my father started to shoot us or attempt to stab us if we don't try to find an odd job and work.

As days passed by and my father gotten more and more violent, Murkuro was starting to become more and more silent to now she doesn't even whine when she gets hit. It made me so sad to see that she was getting punished mostly because of my actions. This despair was all because of me...I am not that naïve to believe that it was anything other than that.

Then when we both were the age of ten, one day Father was getting rather violent and threw me next to his gun. Grabbing the gun I shook aiming at him and heard his tauntings

"Ah little Junko is going to try and kill me? Well better aim well or I am going to kick your ass afterwards."

Letting out a hiss I yelled "I hate you, I'll kill you!"

Though sadly little Junko didn't have the strength then and ended up getting beaten more violently. He even hit Murkuro in which made her finally snapped. When my father was done smacking...beating her, Murkuro turned violent her eyes wide with anger and she lashed out at me grabbing at my neck saying how everything was my fault, how I should've never been born. After passing out for a while I next awoke when she was staring at a knife wanting to cut herself. Before she could do anything then, I made sure to hide all of the knives from everyone. Even though Murkuro didn't like there wasn't any knives around I was happier that she isn't in danger from herself. Though I can't save her from father and as each day passed, making sure not a single knife was missing, i was starting to form an idea. What if I get rid of the cause of all the problems that Murkuro said, that should make things better? After all I am the one who made Mom die, who made us broke, got us sold as slaves, complained, got the deal to die, made Murkuro hated, made father more evil. When I thought more and more about the scheme, a violent voice echoed within me 'WHY not kill that piece of shit father of yours?! That should solve everything!" That's the day where I learned my body was capable of many personalities. The sad and compassionate me: "But it's you father...that isn't right..." The kawaii kitten me: "Awwee but who cares? This man is evil and horrible why are you even still calling him your daddy?!" The royalty me who is queen of everything: "It's HE who should be groveling and bowing at MY feet! Not the other way around!" The more violent me: "It's him who should fucking die in a whole!" Then the me who is sadistic to no end "Upupu he should die a thousand times over and he should beg for forgiveness for all those times when he was indecent to me! Upupu!" (Not to mention this me is more prevented than the other me's) then finally the me who is confused by all of this the original me...the me I long forgotten.

Though this idea did ring in my ears often I never thought that it would be possible for someone like me to do something like the so to my own father. After all the last time I tried, I gave up halfway and got hurt in the end along with Murkuro. Though I could attack him when I am not afraid of him, at night when he is sleeping. He is already dead to me so why not make myself someone who never lies or make threats. I still have that promise I need to keep after all. I am now someone who keeps devilish promises and always tell the painful truth. Feeling the more violent me coming out I laughed as I searched through the weapons. Grabbing the most sharpest knife, one that even a weak blow could kill even though I plan to not be weak tonight, I snickered going into his room that I get redemption as I don't lie or make excuses. Today I can rid of the problems or at least of of the causes. After all I am one to keep promises. Upupu~

(Author's Note: I hope this is much better dearies~ I really suck at writing Junko OTL but hey got more words on the chapter, I need to use my computer to type σ^_^;)


End file.
